mentor news

Girls/Boyz First thanks mentors (Times Argus, May 26)

As the 2003-2004 school year begins winding down, I would like to give thanks to the volunteers who have given their time each week to mentor youth in the Central Vermont community.

On behalf of Girls/Boyz First Community Based Mentoring Program, a collaboration of Community Connections and Central Vermont New Directions, I would like to honor and thank the following mentors: Andy Apgar, Sandy Bettis, Shannon Billings, Ben Cheney, Brian Goodwin, Tracy Grigsby, Carolyn Grodinsky, Tom Gibbs, Charlotte Hanna, Martha Holden, Linda Jackson, Doug Kievit-Kylar, Kathy Mai, Andre McCloskey, Mark Moore, Martin Pincus,Joan Rae, Roz Richard, Alan Rome, Sherry Smiley, Wendy Soliday, Andrea Stander, Lynne Walther, and Susan Weber. The gift of one-on-one time spent with a youth makes a difference.

Our program has a waiting list of kids seeking mentors. For more information on Girls/Boyz First or on becoming a mentor, please call 229-4798.

Wendy Farber

Middlesex

The last bit of light fades and the sky turns a purplish hue. Two figures stand in the parking lot, their faces pink from the cold. The younger one's in baggy black jeans, a zip-up fleece and baseball cap. The older one's dressed in layers and a hat. They're getting ready to finish their hike in Hubbard Park with a walk up to the tower. The older of the two leads the way.

Thirteen-year-old John Bryan and his mentor from a local program, Andy Apgar talk about a mutual interest, bowling, as they walk. Their boots crunch on snow as they ascend the trail.

For John, having a mentor means getting to do stuff besides chores and school. It means having someone to hang out with. And it means having someone, besides a parent, who will listen.

John, who is a seventh grader at U32, lives in Berlin at the end of a dirt road at least a half-mile past any neighbors. He lives with his parents and younger brother. He has an older brother, who's 18, that he'd like to spend time with but John said his brother doesn't live at home and doesn't come by much.

That's one of the reasons John decided to get a mentor: to have someone to do things with. "I didn't really have anything to do after school," he said. He wanted something to break up the daily routine.

Apgar lives in Montpelier and is a police officer at the University of Vermont. He became a mentor because he feels fortunate for a life he describes as simple and nice. He wanted to contribute to and help other people.

"And," Apgar added, "I had kind of a tough time when I was a kid. Middle school and high school weren't great times for me. I was sort of a misfit, sort of lost and lonely..." So, as an adult he wanted to help another kid that may be experiencing something similar at a difficult time in life: the transition from childhood to adulthood.

John thinks having a mentor helps him out socially by allowing him to meet new people. It also helps him consider the choices he makes. "He [Apgar] basically lets me do what I want but if he thinks it's a bad choice for me, he'll tell me, he'll give me advice about it," said John.

John also says that having someone to talk to, especially if parents aren't available, could help kids that have problems, like with drugs or alcohol. His mom is usually home, so he's able to discuss things with her. But, he thinks for kids that don't see their parents often because of work schedules, a mentor can help.

Apgar said being a mentor helps him keep a perspective on what other people are going through. And, he said it's good practice for when his children get older.

Finding the time to meet with John weekly has been a challenge, though. Between his job, young son and another child on the way, Apgar has to work to find time for mentoring. But, he says he is serious about his commitment to John and, with a supportive wife, continues to juggle his schedule around so that they can get together regularly.

According to Wendy Farber, coordinator of Girls/Boyz First! and the Central Vermont Mentoring Network, mentoring is a relationship between an adult and a youth that is supportive, fun and helps guide the young person to think critically and make healthy choices.

There are currently 12 mentoring programs in the area and they range from school-based programs to organization-supported programs like hers and the Washington County Youth Service Bureau's Adult Mentoring Program..

Farber said over the last several years there's been new research about what makes a kid grow into a healthy, caring adult. She said the results indicate support from nonparental adults is one factor that can have a positive influence on a youth's development.

Kim Martin, who works for Central Vermont New Directions, a substance abuse prevention program, said, "mentoring is considered a promising or best practice for prevention" of alcohol and substance abuse.

And while there is no hard and current data measuring the impact of mentoring on Vermont youth, an 18 month-long study of Big Brother/Big Sister participants in 1995 revealed program participants were 46 percent less likely to use drugs and 27 percent less likely to use alcohol than kids not in the program.

Regardless of statistics, Farber thinks any kid who wants a mentor should have one. And she works with local youth and adults, like John Bryan and Andy Apgar, to create successful mentoring relationships. She said, "the overall goals (of Girls/Boyz First!) are to make a positive change in the lives of youth that we serve, to increase healthy behaviors and decrease substance abuse in Central Vermont."

Girls/Boyz First! started six years ago as a girl's mentoring program at Woman Centered. The program now serves girls and boys and is sponsored by Community Connections, Woman Centered and New Directions. There are currently 20 mentoring pairs. Farber hopes to have another 30 pairs by spring.

Interested adults contact Farber and after an interview, background and reference check, attend a three-hour training. Farber then contacts local schools to see if there are any students who may be interested in having a mentor. She tries to make matches where there are some common interests. The youth and adult then meet for an interview. If a match is made, the pair meets weekly for about two hours. She asks both mentor and mentee to commit for at least one year.

For Apgar and Bryan, when their year is up, they may continue to do things together. For now, they are bowling, hiking and hanging out.


	Montpelier Kids Need Mentors There are kids on waiting lists who need an adult friend, a mentor, someone willing to spend at least two hours once a week with them, having fun and hanging out - you know, just being there. These particular 9- to 14-year-old kids live in the Montpelier area, and as of mid-August, there were 5 girls and 3 boys on a waiting list at Girls/Boyz First!! Program coordinator Wendy Farber says she hasn't done any outreach yet, and still there's that waiting list in addition to the 25 sets of paired kids and mentors already enjoying each other's company. She needs adults who either don't have kids of their own or whose kids have grown and gone. The kids come from different populations, so the mentors should too, she indicated. Both mentors and kids are screened, and the mentors receive 3 hours of initial training, with additional support and training offered during monthly meetings. Unlike parents of newborns, mentors also get a manual, though it's more about procedures and policies than parenting. The Vermont Mentoring Partnership, which supports and works with 136 mentoring programs statewide, quotes data from a 1995 Big Brothers/Big Sisters study that kids who have mentors are 46 percent less likely to begin using illegal drugs. They're also 53 percent less likely to skip school. What does a mentor do? Well, anything that's either free or doesn't cost much: hike, bike, swim, rock-hunt, gardening, crafts, or building stuff for summer and fall; trips to the library, bowling, cross-country skiing, skating, museums, more crafts are typical for winter and early spring. The mentoring experience is similar to being a Big Brother/Big Sister. Girls/Boyz First!! is funded by Central Vermont New Directions and Community Connections using a mix of federal and state funds. Mentors commit to a year with a child. If you're interested, call Wendy Farber at 802-229-4798 or email her at wlsubaru@aol.com

	Girls/Boyz First thanks mentors (Times Argus, May 26) As the 2003-2004 school year begins winding down, I would like to give thanks to the volunteers who have given their time each week to mentor youth in the Central Vermont community. On behalf of Girls/Boyz First Community Based Mentoring Program, a collaboration of Community Connections and Central Vermont New Directions, I would like to honor and thank the following mentors: Andy Apgar, Sandy Bettis, Shannon Billings, Ben Cheney, Brian Goodwin, Tracy Grigsby, Carolyn Grodinsky, Tom Gibbs, Charlotte Hanna, Martha Holden, Linda Jackson, Doug Kievit-Kylar, Kathy Mai, Andre McCloskey, Mark Moore, Martin Pincus,Joan Rae, Roz Richard, Alan Rome, Sherry Smiley, Wendy Soliday, Andrea Stander, Lynne Walther, and Susan Weber. The gift of one-on-one time spent with a youth makes a difference. Our program has a waiting list of kids seeking mentors. For more information on Girls/Boyz First or on becoming a mentor, please call 229-4798. Wendy Farber Middlesex Mentoring in Central Vermont from the Montpelier Bridge By Kathy Mai The last bit of light fades and the sky turns a purplish hue. Two figures stand in the parking lot, their faces pink from the cold. The younger one's in baggy black jeans, a zip-up fleece and baseball cap. The older one's dressed in layers and a hat. They're getting ready to finish their hike in Hubbard Park with a walk up to the tower. The older of the two leads the way. Thirteen-year-old John Bryan and his mentor from a local program, Andy Apgar talk about a mutual interest, bowling, as they walk. Their boots crunch on snow as they ascend the trail. For John, having a mentor means getting to do stuff besides chores and school. It means having someone to hang out with. And it means having someone, besides a parent, who will listen. John, who is a seventh grader at U32, lives in Berlin at the end of a dirt road at least a half-mile past any neighbors. He lives with his parents and younger brother. He has an older brother, who's 18, that he'd like to spend time with but John said his brother doesn't live at home and doesn't come by much. That's one of the reasons John decided to get a mentor: to have someone to do things with. "I didn't really have anything to do after school," he said. He wanted something to break up the daily routine. A Mentor Contributes Apgar lives in Montpelier and is a police officer at the University of Vermont. He became a mentor because he feels fortunate for a life he describes as simple and nice. He wanted to contribute to and help other people. "And," Apgar added, "I had kind of a tough time when I was a kid. Middle school and high school weren't great times for me. I was sort of a misfit, sort of lost and lonely..." So, as an adult he wanted to help another kid that may be experiencing something similar at a difficult time in life: the transition from childhood to adulthood. John thinks having a mentor helps him out socially by allowing him to meet new people. It also helps him consider the choices he makes. "He [Apgar] basically lets me do what I want but if he thinks it's a bad choice for me, he'll tell me, he'll give me advice about it," said John. John also says that having someone to talk to, especially if parents aren't available, could help kids that have problems, like with drugs or alcohol. His mom is usually home, so he's able to discuss things with her. But, he thinks for kids that don't see their parents often because of work schedules, a mentor can help. Apgar said being a mentor helps him keep a perspective on what other people are going through. And, he said it's good practice for when his children get older. Finding the time to meet with John weekly has been a challenge, though. Between his job, young son and another child on the way, Apgar has to work to find time for mentoring. But, he says he is serious about his commitment to John and, with a supportive wife, continues to juggle his schedule around so that they can get together regularly. Mentoring in Central Vermont According to Wendy Farber, coordinator of Girls/Boyz First! and the Central Vermont Mentoring Network, mentoring is a relationship between an adult and a youth that is supportive, fun and helps guide the young person to think critically and make healthy choices. There are currently 12 mentoring programs in the area and they range from school-based programs to organization-supported programs like hers and the Washington County Youth Service Bureau's Adult Mentoring Program.. Farber said over the last several years there's been new research about what makes a kid grow into a healthy, caring adult. She said the results indicate support from nonparental adults is one factor that can have a positive influence on a youth's development. Kim Martin, who works for Central Vermont New Directions, a substance abuse prevention program, said, "mentoring is considered a promising or best practice for prevention" of alcohol and substance abuse. And while there is no hard and current data measuring the impact of mentoring on Vermont youth, an 18 month-long study of Big Brother/Big Sister participants in 1995 revealed program participants were 46 percent less likely to use drugs and 27 percent less likely to use alcohol than kids not in the program. Regardless of statistics, Farber thinks any kid who wants a mentor should have one. And she works with local youth and adults, like John Bryan and Andy Apgar, to create successful mentoring relationships. She said, "the overall goals (of Girls/Boyz First!) are to make a positive change in the lives of youth that we serve, to increase healthy behaviors and decrease substance abuse in Central Vermont." Girls/Boyz First! started six years ago as a girl's mentoring program at Woman Centered. The program now serves girls and boys and is sponsored by Community Connections, Woman Centered and New Directions. There are currently 20 mentoring pairs. Farber hopes to have another 30 pairs by spring. Interested adults contact Farber and after an interview, background and reference check, attend a three-hour training. Farber then contacts local schools to see if there are any students who may be interested in having a mentor. She tries to make matches where there are some common interests. The youth and adult then meet for an interview. If a match is made, the pair meets weekly for about two hours. She asks both mentor and mentee to commit for at least one year. For Apgar and Bryan, when their year is up, they may continue to do things together. For now, they are bowling, hiking and hanging out.

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